جلست مُحاطه بأكوام من الاحذيه ، لم تُسعفها قصر قامتها فى ان ترى الى اى مدى تمتد
ولم تكن تكترث ، طغى خوفها من الاكوام الداخليه -المترسبه على سطح عقلها -فى ان تعيقها من اتمام تطوعها ،او تسلبها حقها فى التنفس
خائفه من ان تتوه النيه وسط الاوهام التى تشتتهاومن شرودها الدائم الذى ينقلها الى الحافه…
انا بحب مي
I stepped out form the Taxi when it started talking, the voice in my head with it’s bad English accent and wrong grammar. Trying to sound cool and funny he said “What a lovely day to die!”
I stared at the sky and thought about it, it is a lovely day to die, not so cold, not so hot, and there’s a slight air current that gives you a promise of a fresh new beginning.
Then, trying to avoid being hit by a passing car, struggling to walk in that narrow street leading to our beloved university I remembered I still have some unfinished business, and If I died today my spirit won’t go to the light and I’ll remain trapped on this ugly planet for eternity. Hell no!
"You’re just stalling me, you’re too coward to take that step towards immortal peace!" I listened to him mocking, insulting and yelling at me. That voice needs to behave himself, I should give him a lesson, but anyway I replied, defensing myself that I still have two relationships that need some fixing. A friend, and my God.
He was silent, so I kept on talking “you don’t want to meet God while he’s mad at you, do you?”, secretly laughing at his stupid silence, I kept on walking.
Zoom out, my head suddenly turned into a camera, recording my life. It’d make an interesting movie. A thought came across my mind when he again replied “A VERY boring movie”.
We laughed. It was the first time today to have a conversation with him that lasted up till now. I have a voice in my head and I can assure you, he’s not funny most of the time.
But even though it’s awkward and may lead one day to a psychological disorder, but I enjoy his company, since loneliness comes for free with every meal nowadays.
Music can grow gardens of wildflowers in your ears, and another secret garden in your heart, locked by Jadal’s rhythm and Mashrou’ Leila’s sense.
I could give you the keys, I could sing you to sleep, but I’m not allowed to care anymore and to be honest, sometimes it hurts.
Loyalty, faithfulness, and the ‘forever around’ theory is nothing but words. Words that are said to tame our fear of the unknown, but they don’t actually exist.
You know what’s so amazing about wildflowers? it’s that they grow without being intentionally planted, they grow with the help of the sun gentle rays and the generous ground embracing it’s roots.
They grow by themselves, like everything wild, they grow free.
Music reaches the deepest part of my soul, the shades of darkness in here are perfect for a sad violin. Just a sad violin.
Even though drums only can help you bring down the walls of insecurity you’ve built around yourself, even though the piano’s white and black notes can help you fall in love, and even though I’m bound to lose too, John Denver put it all together, in one song.
My heart isn’t yet ready to grow a garden of wildflowers, so don’t try. Just don’t!
The number of people I need to hold in my arms and ease their pain is increasing every single day, and my arms are too short to hold them all together.
"وأول ما حُبك يقابلك يسيبك
وأول ما حُبك يسيبك تخاف”
There’s hope in every new beginning, there’s a dream beyond this hope, and there’s a heartbreak just around the corner.
For how long we’ll remain in this circle? Woody Allen would’ve made a good movie out of every messed up life I meet everyday.
What are we lacking exactly? Faith? or the ability to pursue the dream we own?
Happy endings only exit in movies and fairy tales, life is an old rusty woman begging for more pain and hatred, Life is a bitch we all know.
All the motivational talk about being the one holding your own life together is bullshit, we only need someone to hold our hands when we’re walking alone, someone who’d jump in the lonely couch with us with a popcorn pan in his hand, someone who’d know how to bring warmth and hold us tight, and most importantly, someone who knows how to cry with us, the honest company that will restore our faith in humanity, and ourselves.
We need you Allah, we’re lost in here without you. Your gentle hands are the only safe place to be.
Make us whole again, amen!
In a post-apocalyptic (5th medical year exams) cool autumn night, we strolled aimlessly in the streets talking about stuff i can’t remember when suddenly “Let’s organize a TEDx event” said El Sharnoby. Sure i was upset for not being able to attend the first TEDx event in Tanta a few weeks back…